Laughter In My Heart: "Circus is Scary and it Hurts!!! Suck it up or...

Go to the Art Barn."

(The quote originates from a instructor who worked the Trapeze program at kid's summer camp. The Art Barn was the destination of choice for the less adventurous. This saying has become our Mantra.)

This weekend about 30 of us traveled to the country for an Intensive Circus Aerial Arts Workshop in the Berkshires organized by Jeff & Dino. We arrived Friday evening, immediately went to the rig and flew for two hours. Saturday's schedule had us up at 8:00 am for flying & static trapeze, silks, & stretching till 8:00 pm. At least Jeff gave us 2 hours to rest and relax by the lake...10 hours of circus in one day was intense but we are a hard core group!!! Here are some candid shots of our group at the rig waiting a turn to fly...taping our rips...reviewing video..visualizing...stretching...working positions on the low bar...

Scott works the Safety Lines & Jeff yells instructions

Early Saturday morning I took my first warm up Swing of the day, climbed down and had the following exchange with Jeff.

Jeff: "OK Jen, next time up, take it out of lines."
Jen: "No!"
Jeff: "Yes!"
Jen: "NO!!!"
Jeff: "YES!!!
Jen: "NO Jeff!!! I'm NOT doing that."
Jeff: "Yes you are, Jen. Next time!"
Jen: "NO! I'm not ready. I am NOT flying out of lines."
Jeff: "Nobody ever thinks they're ready...but you're ready. Next time up...you're out of lines."
Jen: "NO I'M NOT!"

The conversation ended there. Each of us knowing full well that this battle would not be fought on the ground but rather on the shaky, wooden Board 35' above our heads. We went to our separate corners and prepared ourselves for the confrontation of wills soon to come.

My turn again and I quickly climbed up the ladder while Jeff was giving instruction to the previous flyer. Zane was working the Board and clipped on my safety lines. I've never seen Jeff climb a ladder as fast as he did to get up and fight with me. The following exchange took place while he was unclipping my lines...

Jeff: "NO LINES!!!"
Jen: "No Jeff, I can't."
Jeff: "Yes you can. You're ready. Trust me."
Jen: "Jeff, you KNOW I don't trust anybody!"
Jeff: "I know you don't trust anyone, Jen. But you can trust me."
Jen: "NO!"
Jeff: "Jen, it's OK. You can trust me."
Jen: "Jeff, I don't want to do this now. I'm not ready."
Jeff: "Jen, you can trust me. I won't ever let you do anything that isn't safe. You can do this. I'll hold your belt. I'm right here for you."
Jen: "Jeff...NO!"
Jeff: "Jen, I'm right here. I've got you. You can trust me."
Jen: (Huff!) "FINE...GIVE ME THE BAR!!!"

(Thinking: "HA! I'll show you. You're going to be sorry.") I jumped...far too pissed off to even think about being scared.

IT WAS AMAZING! I forgot about being mad and I wasn't scared at all. Flying felt strong and free and as natural to me as breathing in and out. It felt as if I'd been doing this all my life. I was home...this is how it was always meant to be. So beautiful...and so quite. I surrendered my whole self to the rhythm of the pendulum, the rush of the wind and the pure silence at Peak. The muted sounds of Jeff's calls from the Board and support from the ground seemed a million miles away. There are moments you remember all your life...I am keenly aware that this is one of those moments.

It was so much fun...I kept doing it again and again. Here's my second time and as you can hear, glory on the bar is fleeting...it's time to get back to work. In this clip you not only hear Jeff's instruction but also Joan, who came down from Montreal to help teach, calls out instructions. Having been an Aerial Artist and Instructor for over 20 years, Joan is incredibly talented.

In an earlier post, I describe Jeff as the "man in my life who calls me out on all my s**t". We share the same DNA personality traits. And if we were each other's twin, he was likely born 2 minutes and 43 seconds before me...hence, the big brother sincerity. On this morning, he knew exactly what I needed to hear and how to get me exactly where I needed to be. (But then again, he is a Lawyer.) He played me like a fiddle and now that I've tasted pure flight...I am forever changed.

Jeff & me Celebrating Success!

After two hours on the rig, it was time to head down to the Boathouse for two hours of Static Trapeze and Silks. First up, Instructor Bobby showed us several new skills on the Fabric. Bobby manages our little rig in Brooklyn and also teaches my trampoline body awareness class. An Aerial Artist himself, he's currently amid auditions with Cirque du Soleil. He'll be in Vegas next month for call backs. Good luck Bobby! Here's me flying on Silks...

(You can see Jeff's wife Elena in the background playing with Joan's son Alex. Jeff and Elena are expecting their first, a baby girl, in January.)

Then it was time for some Static Bar work. The bar is about 12' above the floor. Here's my Russian Star...

And here is one of the nasty truths of Trapeze...it hurts! In order to get into the Russian Star, one must succumb to one heck of a bar wedgie.

Suffering for my Art...

To Create a Moment of Beauty!

And here is my Flamenco...

Back at the rig, I worked my Cutaway. Hear Jeff yell at me for grabbing on to the safety lines "...Jen, you know better than that!"

I also threw my Split across to Dino. As usual, we made a great catch and our apron work was flawless. I was going to try for the return but Jeff yelled out "BAR!!!"; calling the timing for Tatiana on Board to drop the return bar. It startled me and totally threw off my 180.